senyum mu, tawa mu, riang mu
tak dapat mengembalikan kerapuhan hati
hanya tulus kasih dan setia mu
yang mampu mengembalikan utuhnya hati

kau hancurkan hati ku
dan biarkan semua berlalu
tanpa merasakan rasa ku di hati

kegelisahan dan kegundahan sikap ku
telah menerjemahkan kematian hati
yang hanya dapat hidup kembali
jika nurani kejujuran ungkap yang terbaik

aku inginkan segala cinta, cita dan asa ku
yang bukan hanya angan belaka semata
benciku, benci mu tak hanya ucap
tapi sikap yang mengartikannya
kini rasa ku hanya sepi
sepi yang abadi .....

Apakah ini akhir penantian ataukah ini hanya tak berarti
Ketika suatu saat kan tiba
Tercipta satu rasa yang tak mungkin bisa terungkap
Takkan habis ku menangisi bintang yang tak mungkin bersinar
Di mata ku hanya ada satu sisi
Yang tak mungkin kau memahami warna cinta yang aku beri
Aku berharap kau mengerti suatu saat nanti

langit dan teduh

kepadamu, aku menyimpan cemburu dalam harapan yang tertumpuk oleh sesak dipenuhi ragu

terlalu banyak ruang yang tak bisa aku buka

dan, kebersamaan cuma memperbanyak ruang tertutup

mungkin, jalan kita tidak bersimpangan

ya, jalanmu dan jalanku.

meski, diam-diam aku masih saja menatap mu dengan cinta yang malu-malu

aku dan kamu

seperti hujan dan teduh

pernahkah kau mendengar kisah mereka?

hujan dan teduh ditakdirkan bertemmu

tapi tidak bersama dalam perjalanan

seperti itulah cinta kita

seperti menebak langit abu-abu

mungkin, jalan kita tidak bersimpangan.

#langitdanteduh

Berharap

Apakah ini akhir penantian ataukah ini hanya tak berarti
Ketika suatu saat kan tiba
Tercipta satu rasa yang tak mungkin bisa terungkap
Takkan habis ku menangisi bintang yang tak mungkin bersinar
Di mata ku hanya ada satu sisi
Yang tak mungkin kau memahami warna cinta yang aku beri
Aku berharap kau mengerti suatu saat nanti

move on

I wanna story about my complicated love story ...
Firstly, I'm falling in love with him because I always meet him when he plays the guitar, he always playing guitar very good. yaaaa maybe you can call him master of playing the guitar. hehe and in addition, he also has a good voice, yaaap I fall in love because his voice when i hear he sing a song mihihi ;;)

 
Until one day we can be in a relationship. I have a problem with him (my boyfriend). Called him “F”. we have been dating each other only four months, since we were in second semester on our campus, yap my campus same like him, and same major too. Although only four months we have been dating, I feel very sure that we love each other, now it’s time for me to get serious.

Unfortunately, I dunno why, always there problems between us, that’s doesn’t really mind. at first I thought my boyfriend had power to defend our love. But then he surrendered, he said he love me but I feel different with him and that’s changed my feel for him, yaa I can’t believe him again like the first I feel very sure that he really love me.

One day, I caught him cheating with another girl. (again again again) and I don't wanna hear his explanation for making me sure that he wasn't mistaken. I've so tired!! I just left him. I just blocked all his contact! It means I had to ended our relationship.

For this, I was shocked, my heart was broken, our relationship was ended just at the time when I really love him, when I was with him, we were happy, we had a lot in common and there were no conflict. The truth was, we separated only because another girl (bitch!!!!)

For the time being I’m very upset, when I miss him, I call him, we can eat together, talk and story together for hours. He can come to my house everytime he want, and he ever lived in my house for two months, yaaap our family approve of our relationship ever since the very first time, very very very very very approve of our relationship, we act like dating because he loves me, too. The real problem is he can’t show if he really love me and he went to another girl, yaaa maybe he won’t to get serious yet with me.

Now, already eight months I can’t be moved, I can’t forget him, I still really love him, someday I ever talked to him that I still love him, but he said, he can’t back to me again, I dunno why, he isn’t give me the reason.

So, should I forget him? The only that I trully love? Or else, should I just wait and dream that one day he will back to me? Hmmm although I know, sometimes dream just stay as a dream.

But, if I positive think ………..

For this reason I’d say that there is nothing I can do except forget him and go on with my normal life. Hopefully I can find another who better than him and live happily forever without him. Yaaaaap  just let it flow!!! And really that’s so easy not difficult!!! :’D

 

you : fml

bad memories

when I was in senior high school, I got PMDK from University of Indonesia, I was happy. Firstly, my parents were happy at the beginning, but afterwards I don’t know why they were changing their minds, they didn’t allowed me to apply there. I was shock, I couldn’t believe that, it was my dream to get into that university, I was pleading to be allowed to get there but they stick up with their decision. They keep giving their reason so that I could give up my dream. And they advised me to enroll in Jakarta State Islamic University, it was difficult to accept that. But slowly I tried to obey them, because however parents blessing is the most important, and I think if I disobey them and forced my dream to study there, I’ll messed up my study. Finally, I decide to follow my parents will to pursue my study at Jakarta State Islamic University. I hope it’s the start of my succesfull life.

gloomy

Start from today
We go on our separate ways
Your life and mine let it end just here

Sorry, the time for loving you is over
I have suffered to get a room in your heart
And for this time I agree with you
You and I aren't made for each other
You've changed.
No, maybe I have changed
The time had changed me, like you've said ... 

Nothing is the same anymore

Sorry, I waste your time, my time, and our time ... 

For thinking that what we have is precious
Waste our time to match us back
The truth is all the things is just a pretense

I'm tired. No, not that I gave up my love
I just give a way for a decision ... Especially for me
And now it's time for me ... To be faithful to my self ... 

That nothing's wrong with me
I was just to blind to see the truth

Later if you meet me again take off your pretense .. I hate it
Start from today we go on our separate ways ....

dokter gigi

hellooo... gue baru aja selesai dari dokter gigi nih, mampir di sebuah cafe, dan buat curhat di blog ini, sekalian lunch hihi jadi gini, dari pagi gue mau berangkat ke rumah sakit bagian poli gigi nya gue udah nervous banget, entahlah rasa nervous nya ngelebihin orang mau akad nikah sepertinya---" waiting .. waiting ... sampai tiba saatnya giliran gue masuk ke ruangan dokter gigi itu :" niatnya itu waktunya gue mau cabut 3 gigi gue yang mau di "behel" katanya mesti cabut tuh gigi biar renggang dan nanti geser gitu haha tapi pas masuk ruangan cabut gigi, dokter nanya apa obat yang harus diminum sebelum cabut gigi udah abis? gue bilang belum karena ada satu obat yang alergi buat gue jadi gue stop minum obat itu, yaap tarik nafas saking takutnya gue, akhirnya dokter bilang, kalau gitu gue belum bisa cabut gigi hari itu, katanya kalo obat yang alergi buat gue itu gak diminum (antibiotik) itu bakal nimbulin tetanus :"( soalnya gigi graham gue yang mau dicabut itu akarnya panjang, kalau gak pake obat itu ya efeknya serem banget :"( akhirnya tadi di dokter gigi gue cuma di bersihin karang gigi nya dan cetak foto, terus dikasih pengganti obat yang alergi itu deh, disuruh diabisin, dan hari senin gue wajib ke rumah sakit poli gigi itu lagi buat "cabut gigi" :"( guys do'ain gue ya supaya cabut gigi hari senin nanti gue gak takut dan lancar nggak berasa sakitnya :"") aamiin .. gue lanjut lunch dulu ya nih guys :9 

hello♥

helloooo .. ini blog baru banget gue buat loh -,- sebenernya udah lama gue udah punya blog, karena waktu itu buat bareng temen gue 'nadya amanda' dan pas mau posting gue lupa akun log in nya, jadilah gue buat blog baru ini, semoga blog ini bakal rajin gue isi yaaa hihi ;;)